Reawakening...

Today's post will be on the recent reawakening of my kinky kitty side.


AS most of you know, my Owner and I have been together for about six months,  but we have known each other for over eight years.  Now, we haven't always been Owner and Pet.  In fact I was sure I'd never be interested in being a sub again after the past experiences.  In the rebound relationship there was no kink at all.  I craved it for about four months in but then I shelved it and just decided I would stop being kinky.  He claimed to be a spanko, yet never wanted to spank me.  I took photos of myself tied up for him and he showed no interest in that either.  I was crushed but I managed to hide it and keep it secret.


When Sir and I started to date, it wasn't supposed to be serious.  It was supposed to be fun and light hearted and just us playing so I could be sexually fulfilled and intimate with someone I trusted.  But after the first weekends together we both realized and admitted it was more than that.  So we decided to seriously date and to be in an open relationship, which works well for both of us.

For the first three months we were simply together, not really any kink or such going on.  But then when I came down to visit him one weekend I brought the same ears and tail I had been wearing when he and I met.  He's always had a thing for catgirls, and I was excited to finally bring his fantasy of me as the catgirl he met me as, to life.  I put on my corset, stockings, ears and tail and the look on his face was so, so satisfying.  I was able to be the kitten inside again, for the first time in over 6 years.  It was a natural homecoming.

This being said, my owner and I occasionally switch and I dom him.  He's the first male I have actually dommed and I find that the kitten in me finds it more of a play thing than an actual control thing. I get to play with him like a cat with a mouse.  I get to tie him up and pull his hair and scratch, bite and just let my feral instincts take over.  We've decided this is when I'm more of a snow leopard than a kitten.  I enjoy occasionally allowing this side out because it's a fun way to change up the level and intensity of certain scenes and emotions.

After the first weekend of me as a kitty Sir and I realized that I needed kink back in my life.  We have spent the past three months deciding exactly how to get that into my life.  In the last month or so I have been needing and craving more of the D/s dynamic and I made it known to him.  In the last two weeks we have involved more D/s into the daily fabric of our lives and I have to say I am greatly enjoying it.  Being back in my " element" so to speak as both submissive and kitten.  Last week we had a real breakthrough though.

It came as we were laying in bed playing Borderlands and after we turned it off for the night I confided in him that I wanted D/s to be a bigger part of our life and relationship.  I broke down and cried and he held me and we talked it out.  Then he told me to be aware that he was asking me to call him sir for the rest of the night. I had been calling him sir in the bedroom for a month at this point, but being so out of practice I messed up many times and ended up with 46 spankings owed to me.


In the end that night changed what lay between us and I am so very glad about it.  He is not as used to lifestyle D/s as a way of life, now of it as a daily part of life yet.  All his subs int he past have been in the bedroom,  but helping him grow and learn is a task I am very excited about helping him learn to be the best owner and Sir he can be.  A few people have said that in essence i am topping from the bottom and training his to dom me.  I don't see it that way.  I see it as he and I embarking on the journey to being the happiest together we can be.  To allow him to enjoy my submissiveness as much as possible and to allow me to revel in being who I am.

He is enjoying having me to serve him,  I think he is struggling a bit with the fact that it makes me happy and is good for my happiness and sense of fulfillment.  He's not used to a girl who craves it the way I do, outside of the bedroom and in daily life.  But he's growing more at ease.  His main fear is that he'll be like my ex Master,  which due to the way he reasons and his depth of emotion I do not see that happening.  But the fear is there.  I do see it wearing off slowly as he sees how happy it's making me and he realizes how much he is starting to like it.

I think most new doms feel the same way, but I think like them he will be able to move past that and be able to fully embrace that side of himself.  I cannot wait to see what he'll become.  And I cannot wait to see how my kitten side will grow with him!

Thoughts and experiences on Submission: Petplay

Sub, Slave, Pet, Babygirl, Student, Bottom, Masochist.

These are but a few names and themes given to the act of  submission.  I have been all of these and have experienced the full range of emotions, pros, cons and pitfalls of all of them.

I'll be breaking this up into a few posts as there is a lot to cover and go over!

I've been in the lifestyle to some degree or another for around 10 years now.  I have, for the most part always been a sub, except when I would occasionally service top.  I think that given my wide range of roles I have had in the lifestyle I might be able to shed some light on and explore a few different subgenres of submission and power exchange.  I'll be starting off with my first experiences as a sub, while I was a pet to my Mistress and her pet.

I was 16 when I first confronted full on my need to be submissive.  I'd always been a quiet girl, who had her head in the books and her fingers in the art supplies.  I lived a very rich inner fantasy life,  but in the end that wasn't enough for my hungry mind or my undying curiosity.  I started my search online and found within a few months of serious and careful searching a domme who was willing to at least educate me on D/s if not actually play with me ( since I was under the age of consent at the time.  Her name was Kat and she had a collared pet who lived with her named Emily.  We met in vanilla situations, never alone for about 6 months before she consented to me coming to her apartment.  I learned a lot in that time and she was pleased by my aptitude to learn and my passion about the lifestyle.  We started with simple things, she taught me many of the " Kajira" poses of Gor and I enjoyed running through them when I was alone in my room at home.

As the day of my 17th birthday drew near I felt a fluttering excitement in my belly,  I knew that the law stated I could give consent to sexual involvement at 17 and I was ready to be able to fully serve Kat and to learn even more about my ever evolving sexuality.   Then, about a month and a half before my birthday I lost my sister.  My world was in chaos for a few months after and Mistress was always there to comfort me if I wanted, never more than an email or IM away.  She was amazingly supportive of me.  I loved her deeply for her unwavering devotion to making sure that those she owned or taught were taken care of.  She was a wonderful domme too, she had all the sadism you could want wrapped up in a tenderness that I haven't yet found a match for.

She waited until a few months after my sister's passing and then offered me my first training collar.  She held the simple purple cat collar out like a lifeline, and I grabbed hold of it and spiraled down the rabbit hole with her and Emily into a intimate triad.  Emily was also a kittygirl and Mistress would always stop and take time out of her day to play with us both as our kitty selves.  Tossing around toy mice and jingly balls for us to chase.  She thought the most hilarious thing was using goldfish crackers as kitty treats.  She would put out a big blanket by the fireplace in the winter for us to curl up on and nap.  She was quite possibly one of the most amazing Owners I can think of.

We had two and a half lovely years together.  she taught me many things as a kitten and her submissive.  I learned how to kneel and be still.  How to unobtrusively help my owner with anything they needed, and serve guests.  How to take and enjoy pain and how to gracefully accept a punishment.  She taught me much about my awakening sexuality and how to please myself and others.  

I think the most important thing she taught me is self esteem.  I started bellydancing classes when I was nearly 18, and with that and her help I grew into being the confident woman I always wanted to be.  I knew that I am strong and determined and have a mind of my own, she taught me that it doesn't have to conflict with my submissive side.  

As a Kittygirl I have responsibilities like any sub, but they have varied wildly between my two owners. Since my Mistress was only part time she only required me to help out around the house when I was there or to be her pet in every sense of the word.  My job was to be the cute happy go lucky kitten in their house, the playmate, the lover, the friend.  I enjoyed it immensely and it was wonderful to just be a pet.

My current owner and I live together so I do a lot more,  I cook most of the meals, keep the house clean and generally take care of the little things.  When I have free time I am highly encouraged to paint, draw, hoop or do whatever I feel will make me happy too.  A lot of my free time is devoted to baking and making delicious treats for Sir because I really enjoy watching his face light up at the smell of freshly baked banana bread!  But other than that I get tied up and spanked, played with, fucked and loved just like any other submissive.

I should have more on this as we progress.  Sorry it's not as informative as I had hoped it might be, but ten years is a long time to remember things! 

How " We" came to be!

And to think it all started off like this...


It all started with a convention,  an Anime convention to be exact.  I was 18, and staying at my first anime convention over night.  My friends and I however got separated and my phone was dead.  I had no way at all to contact them, and so I had nowhere to sleep.  I decided I had to get some sleep before the next day and so I crashed out in one of the video rooms.  I was asleep no more than an hour and a half or so when I felt a gentle nudge to my shoulder and a quiet male voice saying " You can't sleep here".  I sat up and there was a tall guy, about my age with a long blonde ponytail, a black trench coat with chains on it and a collar with a leash around his neck. 

 I blinked sleepily I'm sure and told him the situation,  He was obviously security for the convention and I was so scared I'd get booted from the convention.  He introduced himself to me as Pac, and I told him my name.  I later came to know him as Paul. He listened carefully and then told me he'd try and help me. He radio'd my situation into the security control room and got an okay for me to sleep there as long as I was out by 8 o'clock the next morning.  I happily agreed and then he asked me if I had a way to get a shower.  I told him I did not, and he offered to let me use his the next day.  I gratefully accepted as I had no desire whatsoever to have the " confunk".  He left me to sleep and I am pretty sure I fell asleep with a smile on my face from his kindness.


The next day was a blur of catching up with my friends and seeing Pac around the convention, during one point of the day I ended up keeping him company as he was guarding the dealer's room and he and I for some reason had put the collar he wore on me.  He held the leash and I happily sat beside him and kept him company for quite some time.  He invited me to the dance that night. I had never been and so I agreed happily to his invitation.   I was in an open relationship with a guy at the time and was the pet to a Mistress and her pet as well.  Both had told me that the weekend was mine so long as I was safe and let them know what was going on.  I had permission to play as well!


I met him that night at the dance and we both danced for what felt like all night, at least three hours of dancing non stop with, around and for each other.  The energy that we had that night was incredible and absolutely amazing.  After he let me up into his room to take a shower which I was very grateful for.  Unfortunately for me, my pants had gotten lost somewhere along the way and I desperately wanted out of my cat-girl unitard.  So he offered me a pair of his khaki shorts and a belt and i gladly accepted that too. I had taken off my ears and they ended up in his luggage and I forgot them there.


The weekend came to a close and I didn't get his shorts and belt back to him.  So we had traded numbers and AIM screen names, and I messaged him that I had his shorts and he then told me he had somehow managed to be in possession of my ears.  We agreed to give them back to each other when we next saw one another ( he lived about five hours away from me at that point).

For over six years he tried to get my ears back to me and I somehow lost his shorts and belt in a move. He got in trouble one time early on with his ex because I saw a friend of his and told her to tell him I had his shorts,  she unfortunately told him in front of his ex and he had to explain it all lol.  When I finally got my ears back I was pretty amused because for six years he had managed to keep track of them for me, even when I lost his shorts!


We kept touch through the years and we talked about everything and anything   I was doing delivery for the flower shop I worked for and he was the person I called when I couldn't stand to be in the car alone anymore.  He's a pagan too and we had many conversations on the divine and magic.  We talked about relationships, ideals, morals and just about everything under the sun.  We got to know eachother really well and I trusted him with any secrets.


When I left my last D/s relationship of five years He and I were going to make plans to see each other and just have fun and see what that strange connection we had was like on a more intimate level. We didn't get the chance that time.  I was terrified of being alone after having my master around for over five years.  I rebounded hard, with a man who had no concept of how to be honest or how to be kinky or dominant.  I had a miserable 7 month relationship filled with lies, cheating and misunderstanding.  I left him and started my own life, I had a good job, I had a good place to live and I had an active and vibrant social life.  I healed and came back into myself.


Two weeks after I left the rebound relationship, A-kon rolled around and Paul had asked me if we would be able to hang out.  I agreed, but it wasn't set in stone.  I stayed Friday night with a friend and his girlfriend and a few people in the hotel room.  Unfortunately, the friend's girlfriend's little brother decided to get so smashed he was pretty much unconscious ( he was 16 at the time).  I felt unsafe to stay there the rest of the weekend and it ruined half of my Saturday at the convention.  He also had stolen all of my convention money to boot.  When I told Paul he told me he was making the five hour drive and that he was getting a hotel room and I was more than welcome to one of the king sized beds.

I didn't want to since he could stay with friends, but he told me to think of it as seven years of missed Yule and birthday presents.  I agreed and when I showed back up at the convention at five and not more than a half hour later Paul messaged that he was there.  We met up in the dealer's room and I was stunned beyond words at seeing him.  he'd dropped so much weight since we last saw each other about 2 years before and he'd cut off his beautiful long blonde hair.  He was still one of the most handsome men I had ever seen.  We hugged and I was overwhelmed with this strange feeling of it being right for once, of feeling the hug fully returned.


There was no having to hold back from each other anymore, we were both single and adults.  We hung out the whole rest of the convention. And we both saw each other naked in the flesh for the first time.  He fell to his knees and was speechless and I blushed like a virgin.  We didn't have sex that weekend, but we didn't need to.  We snuggled that night after going to the dance and basically reliving the first time we met.  It was amazing. He also got me a new Pentacle for my birthday since my ex had either stolen or trashed mine in the process of the breakup.


The next afternoon after the con ended he dropped me off at the place I was staying while looking for a new place to live.  to see him drive away was like a pain in my heart though.  I knew something monumental had happened and I was scared as hell to see what was coming up next, but it was just as much excitement as well.
So a few weeks later he came to see me again, another five hour drive each way for him to do so.  We spent that night just kind of enjoying each other's company and just being close to one another.  Then we went on a hike the next day, and realized we both enjoyed the outdoors even more together.   


That night, to the sounds of Loreena Mckennit, Sara Brightman and others, with the candles glowing and my star machine casting green stars across the ceiling, we enjoyed our first time together.  It was everything we could have ever dreamed or hoped for.  incredible^^ We ended up on another hike the next day and again, when he left I felt the same as before.  When I talked to him about it later on, he admitted to feeling the same way. He made three more visits up to see me in the following weeks.


In the middle of July I lost my job because they didn't want to pay my benefits. I was heartbroken as it was less than two weeks before my birthday and I had planned a big party.  Paul stepped up and came up that Friday and spent Saturday running around Dallas to make my party as amazing as he could.  He succeeded and my My Little Pony themed party was awesome!  He really went the extra mile.  And for my birthday he got me a new star machine since mine had gone out a week before.

 For the next few months he made regular visits up to see me and I made a few bus trips down to see him.  We even went on a trip to new Orleans shortly before AnimeFest this year.  And this year, for the eight year anniversary of us meeting he surprised me with a lovely silver pendant his friend made.  I cried like a baby and we just had a ball celebrating our friendship and love.


After AnimeFest my roommate started getting creepy and I was forced to move out, I was afraid for my safety and sanity.  Paul suggested I move in with him but I was unsure.  When I had thought on it long and hard I decided to take the risk.  We've lived together for three months already, been through many things and are just as happy as that first night...
I am so happy that the man I called a good friend for many years is now the best Owner I could ask for.  I look forward to our time together and seeing what the future brings!